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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13828
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I'm writing the book of my teenage years. It's hard to write sometimes because I relive all the emotions in a very compressed way. And as I play scenes out, scenes that really happened, without diverting from what genuinely took place, I am starting to realise how weird love is.
I loved, as you know, very deeply, from the age of 13. I think you probably also realise that this wasn't lust, though a desire to make love to him was there, but was an overwhelming, idealised, romantic and passionate desire for a total commitment, me to him and him to me.
I've got to a point where I must have started to grow up, and I've realised hat, as well as being the most wonderful thing in my universe, he was also a selfish shit, unreliable, and not really very nice. But I always found reasons to forgive him. I grew up as a miniature battered wife without even the good parts of a relationship!
The thing is, even sight unseen for many years, I know that I can't stop loving him. The book is making it easier, but I can't break the spell I created over myself.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Love can be pretty bizarre
By: timmy on Tue, 17 March 2009 19:31
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: acam on Tue, 17 March 2009 19:59
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: timmy on Tue, 17 March 2009 21:23
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: acam on Tue, 17 March 2009 22:06
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: timmy on Tue, 17 March 2009 22:39
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: Macky on Tue, 17 March 2009 22:28
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: timmy on Tue, 17 March 2009 22:38
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: Macky on Wed, 18 March 2009 00:09
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: timmy on Wed, 18 March 2009 07:09
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: Macky on Wed, 18 March 2009 14:30
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: timmy on Wed, 18 March 2009 14:42
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: JFR on Wed, 18 March 2009 06:56
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: timmy on Wed, 18 March 2009 07:07
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: JFR on Wed, 18 March 2009 08:14
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: timmy on Wed, 18 March 2009 08:28
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: Macky on Wed, 18 March 2009 15:05
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: timmy on Wed, 18 March 2009 17:27
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: Macky on Wed, 18 March 2009 19:32
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: timmy on Wed, 18 March 2009 19:39
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: Macky on Wed, 18 March 2009 20:07
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: acam on Wed, 18 March 2009 20:26
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Re: Love can be pretty bizarre
By: Macky on Wed, 18 March 2009 22:07
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