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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13824
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Macky wanted to know what it's like to ride the IOMfAtS Horse.
You know those rodeo bull rides, the mechanical ones? And you know a sandy sunny beach with soft surf running? And you know a quiet drink with someone you love in front of a crackling log fire when it's frosty outside?
Ignoring the main site entirely, which is a simple thing to run, the forum here is like all three of those at the same time.
Take two posters who have entrenched positions and diametrically opposed views. Each holds those views strongly and nether will back down, nor even talk to the other. Yet each harangues the other, and each has adherents who seem to be egging them on. We don't have that situation here, no the discourse between NW and Brody will not ever become that, but we could on a different topic or with less astute people posting.
As a neutral moderator this is easy to handle, but what if I also have an opinion? How can I create harmony while appearing to take sides? I can't suppress my opinion just because I run the place. Or I can, but I refuse to. I have needs too.
Take a person who posts and says I'm 16 and my 15 year old boyfriend and I have anal penetrative sex. if both of those kids are in the UK, for example, one has just confessed to unlawful sexual activity with the other. Do I have a moral duty to report them, do I have a societal duty to report them?
My answer is that I have neither duty, because I only know what they tell us here, and I have no reason to believe that this is real or false. My only role is to advise them that it is an unwise post to make because we never know who may be watching, but to give them advice based on an assumption that both are really of legal age.
But what if some moral guardian chooses to yell "Abuser!" at the older kid? What do I do then? Technically the shouting party is correct. I believe in the rule of law, even when my instincts say "bad law" and I cannot censure the yeller either.
What if I see the forum going in a direction that I feel is counter-productive? I've watched it die and be reborn form the ashes often enough. I know it will always survive while there is a need for it. But I want, passionately, it to be what I created it to be. What if I've hinted, prodded, poked, cajoled, and just plain run out of patience? What if I'm actually human and have become frustrated? I am human, after all. But what if I see my vision trickling away before my eyes, see the younger generation run away because the older generation appears to be heading towards cliquedom? What do I do if all my efforts appear to fall on ears unwilling to hear?
I absolutely want folk to come here to find what each person sees as 'People like me', but that means I want ore people here. I want several Brodys, several Mackys, Several Acams, several Craigs, several Tempos, all with strongly held opinions, all discussing things in a civilised manner.
And I want questing kids and the adults they become to be able to come here and ask things, like the person who wanted prostate advice.
Almost always I have a light touch. Maybe that's why it's such a shock when I become human and let my real personality show. But what do I do when I run out of the apparently inexhaustible reserves of patience I have?
[Updated on: Tue, 01 December 2009 18:31]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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