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I thought about replying to Saben's thread more than once over these past couple days and then decided instead to share my feelings & perspectives separately so as to not 'hijack' Saben's ongoing discussion.
Like most of the regular contributors on this MB I wear several 'hats' going about my daily routines. I'm a Dad first, a journalist second, and then I am an adult Gay man. As such, in all three personas, I found myself very uncomfortable with the term "converting." Primarily because in the United States where I reside, the Christibans and their allies have embraced that term as absolute doctrine when discussing their view of LGBT folk, but particularly Gay adult men, when Gay folk are dealing with minors.
Nearly 35 years ago, when San Francisco City Supervisor Harvey Milk was battling for LGBT Equality, he would often commence a speech with; "My name is Harvey Milk and I am here to recruit you!" Milk caught a tremendous amount of flack over use of the term recruit as the opposition pointed to his use of the word as evidence and absolute proof that homosexuals were on a never ending campaign to influence children to become like them and 'change into' homosexuals.
Nowadays, the Ultra-Right uses the verb 'convert' to essentially describe the exact same theorem. Personally, I get so tired of that issue being raised. I am so tired of explaining that I didn't make a choice, a conscious decision, I didn't have an 'aha!' moment and snap my fingers and presto, Brody's suddenly fabulous!
As a Dad, which some of us here also happen to be, there's a more personal note that this topic strikes. Now, I don't honestly know about the rest of you, but when it comes down to my kids, I get really suspicious if I see someone paying too close attention to them or if their behaviour alters outside of the track that they normally follow. Paranoid? Yeah I'm just a tad, but that's partly due to the fact that technology has radically changed the global methods and means by which people communicate. There is a much wider range of exposure to ALL kinds of people now including those who would do harm.
Then there's this. My youngest, my baby, is turning 21 on Friday, coincidentally I guess, and he is a child of the Internet. This is his world, the one he has grown up with. Here's the kicker, he's Gay and has been 'out' since he was 12. Part of his being out, proud, but mostly comfortable with his sexuality was because of the web and ironically not because the old man was Gay.
I asked him to read Saben's thread and then give me his perspective on it. Here's what he e-mailed back:
"Pops it's not like anything bad going on. I play Call of Duty online and sometimes you run into creeps so you just tell'em to fuck off or ignore them. As long as that guy isn't talking about sex stuff who cares?
The creepos always try sex stuff right away Pops. Kids are smarter than people think. Oh and this kid is just thinking with his dick big surprise huh? He's still jackin every chance he gets. But that guy talking to him should be smart and talk about the game stuff and just send him links to places that are legal like Trevor's. Risky if the dudes rents are super religious Pops."
And then he sent me the video I am going to post afterwards.
In the United States regretfully, there is an atmosphere of distrust of motivations, outright hatred, and yes, entirely too many creeps to use my son's lexicon that are out to 'groom' kids. I say this wearing my hat as a journalist now. But there is by far a greater number of LGBT folk who are willing to be supportive and work with the youth trying to find their way in this world as young LGBT human beings. The difficult part is striking the balance.
As a Gay man, I absolutely want FULL Equality, but I'd also like a world where kids, like the one talking to Saben, can do so freely and without reservation or fear and conversely, be counseled under those parameters.
It's just that in the U. S. and elsewhere, until that day arrives. My inclination would be to refer those kids to resources such as Trevor's Project as my son suggested or Matthew's Place. That way no 'questioning of motivations are involved' and legal protections are in place.
Unfair? ~sigh~ you betcha. But prudence and caution for now should rule.
Here's the video:
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Kids, LGBT Issues, Adults? Some thoughts...
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Kids, LGBT Issues, Adults? A question
By: timmy on Wed, 27 January 2010 17:54 |
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Re: Kids, LGBT Issues, Adults? A question
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Re: Kids, LGBT Issues, Adults? Some thoughts...
By: saben on Thu, 28 January 2010 02:22 |
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Re: Video
By: saben on Thu, 28 January 2010 05:47 |
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