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Complex youth counselling [message #62970]

Tue, 13 July 2010 17:12

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13818

I'm working with someone at the moment who is part of a youth club. He's a bit of an outsider, and can lash out at times, not physically, but with words and 'attitude'. He doesn't really fit in there and he feels ignored and sometimes feels bullied. Again it isn't physical. I'm not sure yet why he's so spiky. Maybe it would help if I knew him face to face, maybe not. But he's spiky.

The thing is, it's got so bad that he's feeling like quitting the youth club. He doesn't want to. He kind of knows that he needs the company, but he's pretty poor at knowing how to join in. I think he's probably been an outsider all his life. No-one cares that he's gay, that isn't the issue. And other kids don't fit in that well at times either. But they aren't brash like he is, nor opinionated and spiky like he is.

I'm not sure what to suggest. I very much doubt his behaviour will change until he is comfortable enough to change it 'organically', but the behaviour alienates folk who don't see behind the mask. I'm not saying he'd dying to be accepted. He's got a fair bit to offer the club. He's a tough kid, but it's brittle toughness. He reminds me in so many ways of a kid I counselled many years ago who hated queers, though obviously this one's gay. That one made it to adulthood and heterosexual marriage. I've no real idea what this one's heading for.

If I could talk to the others in the club, what should I say to them? And what should I say to him? It may be too late. 'My' kid may just give up on it.

[Updated on: Tue, 13 July 2010 22:14]

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

		Complex youth counselling By: timmy on Tue, 13 July 2010 17:12
		Re: Complex youth counselling By: acam on Tue, 13 July 2010 19:12
		Re: Complex youth counselling By: NW on Tue, 13 July 2010 19:41

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