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A funny thing about… airports and strip searches is that the latter are now entirely possible without you so much as having to shed a sock.
Much has been written about the frankly disconcerting invasion of privacy associated with the introduction of full body scanners in airports.
Love ‘em or loathe ‘em, they’re being rolled out faster than one would expect the rapid roll out of a sudden cure for obesity (incidentally, I do hope one’s developed soon… I want to look my best if I’m going to have to bare all for my TSA friends).
The whiz kids who built this technology to nab passengers carrying weapons through airport security clearly had a sense of humour as the scanners go above and beyond the call of duty, revealing far more than the odd concealed gun, knife or nail-clipper.
The sample pictures tormenting me on news reports are in fact so detailed, it’d pretty much be like queuing to take all your kit off for a complete stranger.
But yes, it could have been a lot worse...
I particularly liked a TSA official’s comment in 2008 (back when we were first told we’d have to bare all our bits at airports) that these full body scanners were “not as invasive as some of the other equipment” they had at their disposal.
I shudder to think what could possibly be more invasive than having last week’s donut binge (I was feeling a little self indulgent) on full display for 10 of my favourite new TSA friends.
Worse still is the realisation that now, not only do I need to spend a week starving myself before gala dinners to fit into that little black number, the same preparation will likely be required for any trip taking me through airports equipped with this ‘advanced’ technology.
Good news though, as I read with interest this week that there are other whiz kids out there who’ve applied their mind to how prudish passengers like me can get through these scanners with just an inkling of modesty.
Enter ‘Flying Pasties’ (www.flyingpasties.com) promising to “give me back my right to privacy while respecting security”. Of course, I’m an immediate fan!
Flying Pasties (rather unfortunate name?) are designed to obscure the most private parts of the body and their “unique ease of removability” means when you are found to be unco-operative by trying to cover up, you can simply take them off for examination. Goody…
Oh, lest I forget. If you’re a trend-setting Flying Pasties wearer, you could choose to have your own design made. “Designing unique pasties is easy and fun!” say the inventors.
So if, like me, you find the threat of a further roll-out of full-body scanners to sports stadia, railroad terminals and random checkpoints vaguely terrifying, get your colouring-in pencils out now!
Note: The TSA has not approved or endorsed the use of Flying Pasties. In fact I can find no evidence of anyone actually approving or endorsing them, but if nothing else, the website really is well worth a visit, complete with tagline: “Don’t let airport scanners see you naked”…
"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
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