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As we head towards "Coming Out Day" [message #64250]

Wed, 06 October 2010 23:15

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13830

I want to remind you of something

The only person you need to come out to is yourself.

If you choose to tell other people, tell them because you choose to do so, not because you feel under any pressure to do so. And consider the circumstances that surround you to decide what is and is not safe for you.

And, while we consider safety, please remember that meeting folk, not just from the 'online world', but from anywhere, that is something that is both a good thing to do and something to be approached with good sense.

Predators do not lurk under every bush.

But some bushes have predators under them.

Learning which bushes are safe and which are not is not always easy. Even experienced folk can be fooled.

So, if you choose to come out, whenever you do that, think carefully about why you are doing it and to whom you are doing it. And do not, in your sudden huge relief at saying "I am gay" to yourself for the first time, do not leap into the arms of the first nice person who strokes your ego.

With an online person, form a relationship with pleasure, but learn everything about them before deciding to meet in the flesh. You will not be the first to fall for an easy charm and a fake picture and yo will not be the last.

A friend of mine in Illinois had a 3 month courtship with a man from out of state. Maybe he was naive, but he never recognised the minor celebrity's picture that was being used in the courtship. My friend is an experienced gay man, around my age. Yup, he was head over heels in love with a film star!

And coming out makes you so high, gives you such a rush, that you feel invulnerable.

So, as we head towards 11 October, please be safe, and do what you want to do for your own reasons. No-one has the right to pressure you into coming out, or into meeting, when you are not comfortable.

http://iomfats.org/oddsandends/meeting/goldenrules.html

[Updated on: Wed, 06 October 2010 23:36]

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

		As we head towards "Coming Out Day" By: timmy on Wed, 06 October 2010 23:15
		Re: As we head towards "Coming Out Day" By: timmy on Thu, 07 October 2010 12:33
		Re: As we head towards "Coming Out Day" By: Brody Levesque on Thu, 07 October 2010 16:02
		October the eleventh, each year, a date ... By: The Gay Deceiver on Mon, 11 October 2010 13:53

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