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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13828
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There are times when I hate being gay. The main time is all about sexual needs. Being heterosexually married doesn't help, but the thing is that women, however loving, do not have the same physical characteristics as a man. I don't mean the obvious different genitals, I mean firmness, strength, power.
That also has little to do with whether one is a top or a bottom, I think, though I am by no means certain. I think the power transfers between men whatever sexual role one takes at the time, and I believe that, where penetration is concerned, each part is as powerful as the other.
But none of this power is present in a male-female coupling, not even if the scenario is bdsm. All you get is a bit of friction with optional bondage and pain delivered in either direction. Women are still softer to the touch. Worse, they all seem to be slightly greasy to the touch from the potions that are alleged to keep them looking younger, and the next morning, when the paint and the wrinkle filler has peeled away, they look very different from the night when you took them to your bed.
And yet I'm not sure, not wholly sure, that men are truly any different from women. I think they are, but I'm not sure.
A friend asked me the other day, "Why don't you take a week's holiday in a pleasant place and hire a companion to fulfil your every need?"
While the idea of spending time with a companion is not unpleasant what I can't get my head around is paying for it. Add to that the fact that I need emotion to transfer far more than I need bodily fluids to transfer. A cold dalliance is fine for some, not for me. Not that I'm positig this inviting a hot dalliance either!
I just sometimes find being me rather difficult. And I find being gay quite hard.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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