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Hi all,
I thought I'd pop up here on the off-chance a few people I used to know are around -- I feel pretty guilty that I haven't kept up with everyone as well as I should have done, so my apologies!
My general circumstances haven't changed a great deal in the last five years, since shortly after I left university and got a job, and I suppose that counts as a justification, albeit a rather feeble one, for not staying in touch as I feel that there's not a lot to say. It's true that I'm still at the same company and in the same geographic location (that could change soon; I'm not quite sure yet), and I have much less free time than I used to, but now I take the time to think about it I suppose my attitude and viewpoint on life have changed a good deal more than I realised.
I think at 23 I still had the impression that everyone else in the world who was older was more experienced and therefore had more value. That everyone who had ten or twenty years working at a job was necessarily "good" at it. That a couple that had been together for 25 years was obviously in a loving and stable relationship that had and would continue to stand the test of time. That the measure of a successful sex life was being able to find sex whenever you want. I've subsequently found that all of those are untrue -- most people are coasting along, doing their best, but perhaps not really pushing the boundaries. And if you want to be or to have something truly exceptional you really need to fight for it, but that comes down to personal choice.
Part of my motivation for coming here was my concern over my sexuality. Posting here helped but also in some ways acted as a substitute for exploration and prevented me from making much in the way of progress in coming to terms with it. In the end I overcame my fears and discovered very quickly that there is not much to it. If you're gay and (ideally!) single it's trivially easy to find sexual partners if that's all you are looking for -- although I have to say it is even harder than I expected to find people with whom I might want to spend more than a couple of evenings!
I don't think I've really changed as a person; but I do feel I have more control now, and that gives me licence to worry less about some of the things that used to concern me. I still have significant problems with anxiety sometimes. I feel frustrated by my sexuality. I'm not in the hoped-for long-term relationship. I worry I'm not in the right job or the right career, or won't live up to my parents' expectations. But all these things bother me less because I'm fairly self-sufficient now and I realise that all these things are what I make of them. If they don't come out as intended, I have no-one but myself to blame.
It's extremely frustrating being a child, a teenager or even a student, when largely dependent on others (heady doses of nostalgia at times notwithstanding). Being an adult is about taking responsibility for one's situation and either deciding it is "good enough" or actively taking steps to deal with it. Either is a valid course.
I'm not really sure what sort of comments to invite on the above! So I shall finish by saying I'm very glad this place is still here and my best wishes to everyone who remembers me -- and to everyone else, hello! 
David
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