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Unwanted Attention: I Feel Harassed  [message #68282] Sun, 26 January 2014 17:53 Go to previous message
IslandDweller is currently offline  IslandDweller

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Location: Philippines
Registered: February 2013
Messages: 7

Hello everyone. I apologize in advance for my ranting but I just want to let this out and hear some insights.
So here it goes... Just a little back story.

Back at freshman college I became friends with this guy (I'll name him Kris). I have already heard bad rumors about some arrogant guy circulating around school but I did not realize that it was him. We really hit it off, he wasn't OUT yet at the time but it was pretty obvious to me that he was gay. I was giving him hints that he was not alone on that department, and I let him confront me about it first. So there I was, I finally had someone to talk about being gay; it was refreshing to say the least.

He later told me that high school was hell for him; was out casted. He had few friends and a lot of enemies (so he said). He was already gaining bad publicity at school (Too late did I realize that he has a bad attitude).

One day while having lunch with some classmates, my tongue slipped and commented on how cute another boy was. I was immediately confronted. By that time I was already comfortable with my sexuality, but I had no intention of outing myself. But I did. They asked directly; I answered directly. Not a month has passed and I have already outed myself. And I regret nothing. It turns out that everyone was liberal minded at our university.

Now Kris and I were always hanging out together during free periods, my friends became his friends and vice versa. Everyone already knew I'm gay. And there I was hanging out with Kris who is so obviously gay. He's always carrying around a huge ass fan like some old Spanish lady (he was on the large size by the way). He too was outed sooner than later (I may have had a hand with that).

And here is where my dilemma starts. I somewhat became his councilor, I listened to his problems and tried to give advice whenever appropriate. I found out a lot about him. One that struck me the most is that he sees himself as a woman; and that he has plans to undergo operation. Analyzing the psyche of someone that has up till then had not any friends of the same persuasion it was obviously that he would cling to any chance of a relationship. By the time of our second semester he was already declaring his love for me (and still is). Which of course I rejected (and still rejecting). He just isn't my type. But he is unwavering. He kept pushing himself on to me. A friendly rumor had already spread that we were a couple, in which I actively deny (even the upperclassmen are intrigued). We're still friends, I mean I had already discussed boundaries with him, but he keeps on breaking them. But I don't want to resort to violent behavior on my part, so I have grown to put up with it.

He has deep rooted issues that has affected his entire being. It revolved around the first guy he had feelings for back in his high school that had rejected him. He already had murderous intentions toward the guy. I was starting to be afraid for my own security.

Other people too had gotten used to his antics toward me. We're all friends and they are teasing me about the whole thing, but they feel sorry for me too. They were already suggesting that I report to the our Gender Development Center, so that I could raise my issue there and find counsel. But the funny thing is that they feel sorry for Kris more! I mean he just looks so pitiful. Our friends already know that he has issues and they're being kind about it.

I can tolerate some admiration, but my real beef with him is that he's still claiming me as his! Whenever I get close to my girl friends, he would suddenly threaten the girl. Of course, they are all empty threats (so far). But I'm a touchy feely person and I hug girls all the time. And it irritates me whenever he does that. Even during class, even in front of the teacher!

But basing on his behavior I could readily deduce that he does not really have any feelings for me. Its all just a facade to protect himself. I know who he really likes. But I like the same guy. But he's straight (so far). It's only recently that I have made moves on the guy (only playfully). I could only guess what's going on in his mind. The boy he says he likes is making moves on the boy he actually likes. I fear for my situation...

Wooh, what a whopper, I didn't expect this to be quite long. Well I'm glad I finally got some of that out of my system. I'm lucky that I had stumbled across this site back in high school. Helped me realize things. Thanks for listening.
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