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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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I know him. We talk about inconsequential stuff. He and I are both 15/16 or so. I know I'm gay. I have no idea what he is. Our talk is about school, about lessons, about other students, about hobbies, about sport, and yes, about girls. I pretend to be attracted to them because I am too scared to be out. He talks about them and I imagine he thinks I am as attracted to girls as I think he is. That is 100%. I give no clues that I am gay. I think he likes me. I think he thinks I like him. We're almost friends, but are really schoolmates, no more and no less. We hang out in school, not outside it. We live miles apart, too far to cycle and there is no public transport.
I am actually head over heels in love with him. It started before sexual attraction. He's decent looking, yes, but no great adonis. I like the way he thinks, and we share similar opinions, though not 100% of the same interests. We, he and I, are probably equally popular/unpopular in school. And I adore him, the boy, not him the body. Don't get me wrong, I like him the body a lot, too. He is in my fantasies.
I want to be able to ask him 'out'. I want to date this boy, or, at least, to let him know that, if I suggest going to the cinema, I want it to be more than two boys going to see a film. I want to be able to know if he wants to maybe hold my hand rather than maybe grossing him out by taking hold of it. I want to be able to give him a peck on the cheek. I don't want to be in his pants in 23 seconds, I want him, if he is available to me, not his body, not just his body, anyway.
So, how do I do it? How do you tell another boy you want to be more than friends?
[Updated on: Wed, 14 January 2015 10:57]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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