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I am a night Owl, are you?
There is something quite wonderful about being awake when everyone else is sleeping soundly. As I write this it is coming up to 2:30am. My mind is awash with thoughts, some good, some more sinister. My night time allows me to think in peace knowing that the world is away from me for a few hours.
I make return trips from my PC to the kitchen for drinks and sometimes the odd cheeky late night snack. Occasionally I will stand on my back yard step with a cigarette and look up into the night sky, fascinated with the stars that twinkle and wonder. Tonight for instance I stood staring up at Orion's belt for a good five minutes letting my eye drift upwards to Betelgeuse wondering whether it had actually exploded into a super nova yet. Sometimes as I stand in the tranquillity of the twilight hours I drift into an almost dream like state wondering about the world I am so much a part of, but yet so disconnected from.
Late nights are a curse in some respects as I often wander to work like a zombie trying to get through the day of my 9 to 5 job. My job allows me to enjoy the finer things in life of that I am sure, but sometimes all I really need and want is my imagination to be colourful giving me themes to write fiction stories and my humble PC to share them with others.
Sometimes I look over and watch my partner sleeping thinking how lucky he is being able to just rest his head on a pillow and enter into sleep. I have always been a bad "getting to sleeper" since I was a teenager. I remember staying up until the sun was established playing computer games or chatting to friends I had made across the pond on a primitive version of MSN messenger. Night time conversations were often deep with no endings to some subjects, but again this took me away from the rat race of school where life was hard being the skinny kid who was no good at sports.
Sometimes the loneliness of life gets to me, but then I am at my most alone when I am awake in the small ours, which I ENJOY?... yes, I know a simple contraction. Are there two different types of aloneness I wonder? My night time loneliness I revel in, I adore it, look forward to it. Sometimes I am joined by my Kitten who will sit with me while I type. Her feline cousins I also have prefer to either be outside hunting small rodents or asleep with my partner on our bed. Saturn, my kitten though almost seems to know I enjoy her being there as she sits a still as an ornament, just looking at me until I finally decide to give into tiredness.
There will be others like me I am sure, maybe reading this you are a night owl. Each night owl will have their own routine but we all share this love of the night that can offer a tranquil escape without the use of prescription drugs such as Vallium of which I keep a small supply for those 'kind of days' .
*** time passes>>>>>
Back from the kitchen again, this time to have a cup of tea and another look outside. The stars have moved now and the moon is sitting proudly up high above me. While my gaze settles on it I think of occasional silly things like the moon resembling a Sainsbury's white chocolate cookie that is just calling to be eaten. A little rumble in my tummy tells me something like that would be nice right now. My partner says it is fatigue hunger that is a good sign I really should go to sleep. I can't though; I can't because my mind is now full of all the things I want to resolve before I slip into unconsciousness. I need to get a chapter done I was working on; Need to put the wet washing contents in the tumble drier I started doing at 1:30am. It's also the time when I will sometimes take a shower. Again, most 'normal' people would be doing these just before setting off to work or when they get home before the act of eating is upon then.
I do urge you on one mild night take a chair into your back yard, place it down in the middle of your lawn and sit on it. Just sit there for 20 minutes and take some structured breathing exercises while looking up at the Milky Way. Listen to the ambience of some small animals, maybe a tree swaying in the breeze and just feel the darkness and the general silence start to bring you into almost euphoric state as you sit there alone. No people, no job, no nagging husband, no noisy kids and no annoying people you really could do without talking to!
While you sit remember it is you alone, with nature just below and the cosmos above. Dedicate yourself to this period and call it your exclusive time, and while you are sitting there, quietly say to yourself, "this is my time and I'm gonna let those waves of toxic negative thoughts wash over me like a small cleansing wave. Take a beer if you wish, smoke a joint, take a couple of Vallium or simply sit there and relax letting the mental grime of the last few days or weeks melt away. Lastly, when you feel relaxed, pop 2 Zopiclone and get in a COLD bed this helps to aid sleep. (well the pills do to but...)
We give ourselves no time as we constantly managing schedules, cooking food, changing the beds, sorting out bills, cleaning, I could go on and on and on. Just a Night owl cheats, by having at me time that no one can reach, take it away and say...Oh honey, please get the new TV up on the wall."
So getting back to the point of this ramble? I am an Night Owl... are you?
And if you are, I Salute you!
[Updated on: Tue, 26 January 2016 03:03] by Moderator |
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