A Place of Safety: General Talk » Dammit, I still know today is a 'special' date

Show: Today's Messages :: Show Polls :: Message Navigator

Dammit, I still know today is a 'special' date [message #72199]

Fri, 25 November 2016 15:46

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751

This date comes around every year. On 25 November 1951 the boy I was to fall for in 1965 was born.

Every year this date has come by. Dates do that. Some years I was in tears, in pain, heavily stressed over the loss of the love I never had. Other years I have had an easier time.

As time has passed I have understood more and more that my prison is of my own construction, with walls precisely as high as I have created them. Over time I have reduced the height of the walls. Today they are about one brick high. I can trip over them, but they do not contain or constrain me.

This year I find myself thinking "I wonder what would have happened if I had kissed him?" But I am no longer wishing I had kissed him, nor am I obsessing over it or over him. He is not what I thought in 1965, nor the last time he and I met in 1970. I can tell this from his pubic internet persona, where the outgoing boy seems to be a naïve, gauche man. I may wonder what would have happened had I kissed him, but I think, whatever his reaction, I have had a lucky escape!

I mark this anniversary, his 65th birthday, as a beacon for others, a guiding light for a road they must not follow. I would not light this beacon had I not had the mixed fortune to fall for him and to become obsessed with him, for I would not have harmed myself emotionally since 1965 when he wafted into my life for five unrequited years.

[Updated on: Sat, 26 November 2016 08:44]

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

		Dammit, I still know today is a 'special' date By: timmy on Fri, 25 November 2016 15:46
		Re: Dammit, I still know today is a 'special' date By: Ashdaw on Sat, 26 November 2016 00:28
		Re: Dammit, I still know today is a 'special' date By: timmy on Sat, 26 November 2016 08:49

Previous Topic:	Site outage
Next Topic:	Without paedophiles no youth movements would flourish. - Discuss

Goto Forum:

[

]

We support Ukraine — Мы поддерживаем Украину — Ми підтримуємо Україну

We support Ukraine — Мы поддерживаем Украину — Ми підтримуємо Україну