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Effeminacy and Orchiopexy  [message #68020] Sat, 05 October 2013 08:18 Go to next message
RG is currently offline  RG

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Registered: October 2013
Messages: 4



HI all,

I was born with one undescended testicle and am slightly effeminate since birth.

Would like to know if that effeminacy is in any way related to this undescended testicle ?

And if this effeminacy would go, once I get the corrective surgery - Orchiopexy - done.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Thanks.
Re: Effeminacy and Orchiopexy  [message #68021 is a reply to message #68020] Sat, 05 October 2013 09:28 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13647



I think it is highly unlikely that the two are connected, but I do know that the surgery is essential to prevent future general health problems.

How old are you?

Please can you define 'effeminacy' as you see it in yourself?

No-one here is a doctor and no-one can give you medical advice, but we can help you to become comfortable with yourself as you happen to be.

[Updated on: Sat, 05 October 2013 09:28]




Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Effeminacy and Orchiopexy  [message #68022 is a reply to message #68021] Sat, 05 October 2013 10:13 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Kitzyma is currently offline  Kitzyma

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Registered: March 2012
Messages: 215




I agree with Timmy's points, especially about the surgery being essential to reduce the risk of future health problems such as tumours.

If you haven't already done so, you might also find useful information here:
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptorchidism>

As Timmy asks, how do define 'effeminacy' as you see it in yourself? There seems to be no link between cryptorchidism and effeminacy. One testicle can produce enough testosterone to provide 'masculinity'. From the references below, it would appear that there can be psychological problems but if there are any psychological problems they are often associated with parental attitudes and go away after surgery.

<http://www.sources.com/SSR/Docs/SSRW-Cryptorchidism.htm>
"In summary, existing research indicates that boys with undescended testicles do not tend to be gender-disordered, effeminate, or prehomosexual. A disturbed self-image forms only when the family dynamics are destructive to developing male self-esteem. Such pathogenic attitudes were found in parents who focused on the boy's genital defect as a sign of his presumed effeminacy. However, when the cryptorchism is surgically corrected a healthy masculinity becomes possible. The basic sexual normality of these boys was confirmed in a small retrospective study that tested adolescent boys several years after their condition was surgically repaired They had developed into fairly well adjusted teenagers without special sexual or gender problems, and with no distinctive traits of psychopathological relevance."

<http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8717484>
J Am Psychoanal Assoc. 1996;44(1):201-53.
The role of the testicles in male psychological development.
"The condition of cryptorchism may contribute to psychopathology, especially in the area of masculine self-image; however, cryptorchid boys do not tend to be gender-disordered, effeminate, or prehomosexual."
Re: Effeminacy and Orchiopexy  [message #68023 is a reply to message #68021] Sat, 05 October 2013 13:20 Go to previous messageGo to next message
RG is currently offline  RG

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Registered: October 2013
Messages: 4



I am 21.

And I have already got the surgery done.

Effeminacy as in "shyness", "less interest in sports", not being as active and social as other guys, avoiding boys' company for the fear that they will make fun of me, enjoying girl's company as friends coz they are harmless, always wanting that there's someone to protect me.

And I don't know why, but there have been many instances of my classmates and some other people calling me effeminate. Dont know on what basis they say that. one more thing I am very unconfident while walking, talking, confronting a large crowd, coz this inner feeling that I am effeminate :( 

I really need some confidence. I also want to enjoy like other guys, but can't. For the same reason, I am always scared & nervous in boys' company.
Re: Effeminacy and Orchiopexy  [message #68024 is a reply to message #68022] Sat, 05 October 2013 13:23 Go to previous messageGo to next message
RG is currently offline  RG

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Registered: October 2013
Messages: 4



I have already read these articles, didn't prove to be of much help! Sad
Re: Effeminacy and Orchiopexy  [message #68025 is a reply to message #68024] Sat, 05 October 2013 14:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Kitzyma is currently offline  Kitzyma

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Registered: March 2012
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It's good to know that you had the surgery.

Sometimes words can mean different things to different people. To me effeminate means showings characteristics regarded as typical of a woman.

There are very masculine boys who are shy. There are very feminine girls who are not shy. There are masculine men who have little interest in sports. There are feminine women who are very sporty, e.g. Jessica Ennis.

Being shy in front of other boys is common, especially if one is different, e.g. reaching puberty much earlier or much later than others or being the only boy in your class who's been circumcised (or the only one who's not been).

I hate large crowds and in many respects I'm a very unsociable person, but that certainly doesn't make me effeminate.

You don't mention your sexuality and in a way I don't suppose it matters, but sometimes non-effeminate gay young men are more comfortable with women because there is no sexual tension involved. A gay boy can be nervous in the company of other boys because he finds some of them attractive but is afraid of the other boys seeing that attraction.

As I interpret the articles quoted above, the psychological effects of cryptorchidism are caused mostly by the way others react, the attitudes of parents, etc. They are not the direct result of the undescended testicle. Being treated as 'different' can affect the way a person sees himself, but it doesn't affect who he really is or the sort of person he is.

When you say "I really need some confidence" I think that is the key point. Many (most??) people lack self-confidence. e.g. Many young heterosexual men lack self-confidence and are nervous of asking a woman out on a date.

There may be ways of boosting self-confidence. However, it may not always be a good thing. One guy I know even went for psychotherapy, and although he certainly seemed much more self-confident afterwards, he also went from being a nice guy to a completely obnoxious, selfish self-centred guy. So it seems that a little self-confidence is good but too much can be bad.

I've no idea if you're really effeminate or not, but even if you are, that does not make you less valuable as a person or less deserving of respect. If you concentrate on the qualities you have that you consider to be positive then you will realise that you are valuable and deserve respect. I respect the courage you've shown in posting here.
Re: Effeminacy and Orchiopexy  [message #68029 is a reply to message #68023] Sat, 05 October 2013 22:45 Go to previous message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13647



Quote:
RG wrote on Sat, 05 October 2013 14:20I am 21.

And I have already got the surgery done.

Effeminacy as in "shyness", "less interest in sports", not being as active and social as other guys, avoiding boys' company for the fear that they will make fun of me, enjoying girl's company as friends coz they are harmless, always wanting that there's someone to protect me.

And I don't know why, but there have been many instances of my classmates and some other people calling me effeminate. Dont know on what basis they say that. one more thing I am very unconfident while walking, talking, confronting a large crowd, coz this inner feeling that I am effeminate :( 

I really need some confidence. I also want to enjoy like other guys, but can't. For the same reason, I am always scared & nervous in boys' company.

--
I do not read this as being effeminate. I read this as being uninterested in sports and very happy in the company of girls.

Tell me, do you feel homosexual or heterosexual? Either is fine. The answer gives us, and you (and you are more important than we are) more understanding of who you feel you are.

Confidence is a different thing. We must learn confidence. It can be learned and it can be taght, but the first part of it is a decision to become more confident.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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